When you need help, it is natural to want a quick fix, fast. Our culture has led us to want the little pill that can magically solve everything.
In pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond, our minds and bodies and lives are CHANGING, growing, expanding. Help during this formative and fantastic time requires a soft touch. An open, curious attitude. Wise and welcoming words.
My approach to giving support starts with the following beliefs.
Basic Tenets: (it is easier sometimes to describe what they are NOT than what they are)
These are what we are dipping our toes into:
➛ Mindfulness = Awareness (not fixing)
All practices will be approached with a gentle attitude of curious exploration. The point of mindfulness is NOT to immediately jump to changing and fixing. In fact, it is to rest from the compulsive activity of fixing. It is a process of discovery. What does it really feel like right now? Does this feel better or worse? Does this help?
Ironically, stepping away from fixing sometimes helps to fix things.
➛ Compassion (Not resistance, attachment, or judgement)
Learning how to be a safe place to land for yourself. Learning how to find your way back home, to your self.
Resistance free - allow your experience to be what it is. Let’s release pushing away.
Attachment free - all changes, always. That’s the only guarantee. Let’s release clinging.
Judgement free - you are already worthy, and so is everybody else. Let’s release labelling and condemnation.
Forgiveness. Attention. Unconditional acceptance. These are the qualities we offer to our children, and they must also be offered to ourselves.
➛ Nature (not culture/conditioning. Beyond the mind/program as it exists)
For lack of a better word, Nature with a capital N, is your divine inheritance of being human. Try on the following beliefs: You are already good. Your cells know how to return to health, given the chance. Your life is already perfect. You are already calm. Wellbeing is what you are made of, We are just trying to remove layers to return to it.
The understanding on some level that “all is well” is a soothing and life supporting mental/emotional attitude, that you probably have on some level whether you are aware of it or not. Beliefs to the contrary are learned/absorbed from our environment and caregivers at a young age. Perhaps we never learned anything close to “all is well”...And that belief, like all others can’t be forced, or remembered all the time. But it can be returned to. We will be pointed in that direction naturally, spontaneously. This is our inner wisdom and birthright. This program is merely a nudge in that direction.
The point of what we’re trying to do is to collaborate with this enormous aspect of ourselves that is already OK, already whole, safe, loving awareness. To parent ourselves, in a way, so that we can be the people and parents we want to be.
To be present enough with yourself that you can notice what you need, and generous enough to give it.
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