Letting in the Light

"A being must carry the shadow to embrace the light,

and blend these vital breaths to make harmony." ~Tao Te Ching

 

There are many practices to invite the light, and most of the self help/ self development/ spiritual world are full of them. Both are important, both facing and welcoming the shadow, as well as inviting in the light. This is why the most basic journaling you can do is freewriting for shadow (like really FREEwriting, getting it ALL out, without censoring, and allowing your body to fully feel your emotions) and gratitude for light (paying attention to and naming the good and beautiful in your life).

 

Here are some other tools that I think are easily accessible to the average pregnant woman, and invaluable in their scope and application.

 

Practice: Open Focus

What I am calling “open focus” is a relaxation technique that is an excellent way to enter the alpha brain wave state, or relaxed present moment awareness. The alpha brain wave state is a slower state than our typical “beta” brain wave state, where we function most of the time as adults. Interestingly, (and often infuriatingly!) children are in an alpha brain wave state much or all of the time from birth till age 6-7. This is the time in childhood development where they are rapidly learning, absorbing, and their brain is literally being built with subconscious connections. 

 

 

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Here my audio recording of how to do the open focus. 

 

Practicing the open focus is also a helpful way to deal with pain - both physical and emotional. One of my favorite resources of all time is this meditation by Tara Brach for “Radical Acceptance of Pain”. Try it the next time you are physically suffering. She doesn’t use the words “open focus”, but that is what she guides you into in that audio. 

 

Explore your own experience and associations with the open focus, and play around with it in your own life!  

 

Writing to your Inner Voice

This is a journaling practice in which you write (or record) questions to yourself, and receive answers from yourself. This may sound odd or ridiculous. The questions are asked from your normal ego mind, things that you are afraid, worried, concerned, confused, stuck, or just wondering about. Then you listen, internally, for a deeper answer. The answer, of course, also comes from yourself, but it comes from a deeper, wiser part of you. You can call it your your “Intuition”, your “Inner Voice”, your “Higher Self”, your “soul”, or “Joe”. If this sounds interesting, give it a try! If you want to learn more, I recommend all resources from Jess Lively’s Inner Voice work. This “inner” voice is different from your normal thinking mind chattering voice. It sounds calmer, and more loving, and less fearful. It may sound like a grandmother, or a sage, or a poem. One way you’ll know that it’s an inner voice response is it is surprising to your mind, not words you would normally think or say. Even if you are making up all of it, it often gives you a deeper sense of what you really WANT to do or believe. And the beautiful thing is that it is always here for you.

 

Here is how you do it:

1. Write a question. Write, “Dear Inner Voice” (I write DIV for short,) “Why does my back hurt so bad right now?” “What should I do about my mother in law visiting?” “What if my baby doesn’t turn to a better position?” These questions are often laced and loaded with lots of stress. Often freewriting for a while brings up lots of areas of stress and fear if you’re not sure where to start. These can then be written about. To start out, don’t choose the biggest scariest question. It takes practice to be able to relax and hear/feel an answer. Start with some easier questions.

2. Next, get quiet and listen. EXHALE, exhale, exhale. Exhaling slows your heart rate slightly and nudges you towards a parasympathetic state. Don’t try to think about the answer, just repeat the question, and then sit in silence, breathing and focusing on exhaling fully, even audibly if that helps relax you. Let go of efforting to get answer, and open your focus (from the practice above if you've done it!).

3. Receive the Answer. Listen, and feel down in your body. If you don’t hear or feel anything, that’s OK. Just keep relaxing and exhaling and see what comes up. It is helpful to drop your attention down, down, into your body. Low belly, or heart is often a place to wait for an answer. Sometimes, states of stress or fear can’t be exhaled away that easily, and no answers come up. That’s OK too. Sometimes intense emotions can come up when you are listening, and that is a good thing - it is usually old stored emotions that are ready to release through breathing and acceptance.

4. Keep questioning. If the answer is “yes”, or “no”, write, “how yes?” or “How no”, or “how should I do that?” If you are confused or surprised, keep asking.

 

Good starting questions to practice with:

Am I loved?

Am I safe?

Am I OK?

Should I do xyz?

How do you see xyz?

 

Examples (yes I just did these):

Dear Inner Voice,

Should I teach pregnant women how to write to their inner voices?

     Yes!

Yes, how?

     Let go of worrying. You are safe. You know.

But how? I don’t know enough, and maybe it’s too hard. I’m scared. 

     Relax, and breathe. All is well.

Dear Intuition,

Should I go to the store tonight or tomorrow?

     Tomorrow. 

Dear Inner voice,

I’m stressed by these mountains of laundry. How do you see this huge mess of laundry?

     Laundry is power. Enjoy it.

How is laundry power?

     You are cleaning souls. You are dressing living breathing beings. 

How can i enjoy it?

     Be free. Do it on your own terms, when you want. Watch and listen. [I know that means to watch or listen to           something I like while folding]

 

More inspiration for writing to and from your inner voice:

This message from writer Elizabeth Gilbert on bringing compassion to your fear shares her practice of writing a letter from love. It’s beautiful, and another take on this idea of writing to and from a more love-centered part of yourself. 

 

If this still sounds woo woo or absurd, then maybe it’s not the writing practice for you right now. Keep listening to your own instincts about what you are called to. Keep relaxing and writing in whatever way feels right and helpful to YOU.

 

Be well, and be you!

~Anna