Being a Mom Changes Everything We know that becoming a mother is the biggest change a woman will experience in her lifetime, for tons of reasons - physical transformation, identity shifts, responsibilities, relationships... everything. When you become a parent, a number of nervous system changes take place that you need to know about. The system itself changes. Your system becomes more tightly wired for survival, to keep them alive! The load on the system grows.  You have mor

Sometimes stress looks like speeding up. Sometimes it looks like shutting down or people-pleasing. These are all protective responses, and they all make sense.

During pregnancy, hormone and brain changes  increase a mother’s sensitivity and responsiveness to her baby’s needs. Amazing. And they come with a big side effect of heightened anxiety and reactivity. 

The way I see it is that we can help the unavoidable CONSTANT CHANGE of motherhood along. We can find wellbeing in the chaos by partnering with change, working diligently to change ourselves as profoundly and rapidly as we need to.

No one is here to parent us. There are no teachers to circle our mistakes in red pen. There are no coaches giving us pep talks and running us through drills. No bosses giving us quarterly reviews. If we’re lucky, we have a partner by our side to call us out on our blind spots. But we are the ones who have to step into this very adult role of leadership. This takes constant re-evaluation. We stop, step back and ask ourselves - 

Many Lasts go by unnoticed. You never knew it was the Last. You just realize one day - oh yeah, that’s over. The last time you ever read Goodnight Moon. The last time they reach to hold your hand. The last time they ask you to play with them. 

Feel like it’s going by fast? You’re right. Your changing body and the growing infant inside you deserve to be honored.

Here's why we need to work on regulating our nervous system state as much as we work on our mindset.

Stress comes from pressure to get it all done. Stress also comes from avoidance. This list spares you from both. You have a list, and you’re going to take action one tiny step at a time.

If, WHEN someone starts giving you unwanted advice, there are ways to nip it in the bud. Free yourself with calm clear communication. 

Wanting more than a baby shower or a nesting party? I am grateful that my friends and I have been cultivating the tradition of the blessingway for new-mamas-to-be for the last couple decades. Here's what it's all about. I was not yet a mom of two when my new friends in my new area threw a “Blessingway” for me. With my first, I had a regular baby shower. Traditional in that there were gifts for the baby, non-traditional in that men were allowed. Old friends of mine from colle

Do you ever find yourself wondering: What if I'm not ready to have a baby? How will I know what to do?

Women are torn in early pregnancy. Do I hold in this massive secret and act like everything is normal, even though I feel anything but?