12 Meaningful Ways to Remember your Pregnancy

Feel like it’s going by fast? You’re right. And it only gets faster.

How do you want to look back at your pregnancy? Do you want to remember it as a blur that flew by? Or do you want to remember soaking it in, deliberately using it well?

Here are my favorite ways to memorialize and make the most of this special time in your life. Most of these involve making something that lasts, either a physical thing or a memory, that you can look back on and reminisce. No matter how the rest of your pregnancy or birth goes, your changing body and the growing infant inside you deserve to be honored.

A bonus effect of documenting your pregnancy in any of these ways is that it will bring you presence. You’ll go deeper into the experience itself, what it’s actually like to be you NOW. As Ferris Bueller says “life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

1. Photos 

This is so obvious, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point it out. Of course you want to have pregnancy photos of your baby bump, or baby mountain as the case may be. The same angle, with the same pose, every month at the same time makes a fun timeline!

The mirror selfie is a fine way to go, or letting your partner capture some phone snapshots. You do not need to hire a professional photographer and get all dolled up in lace and henna. Unless you really want to. But if you feel like you really want to, I encourage you to ask yourself -- Why? Do I want this for myself, to have the experience? Or do I want this because I see pictures like this on Instagram and I want to match what others are doing? 

I will share that I had professional photos taken during my third trimester with two different pregnancies. Both times, I didn’t like the photos. In contrast, I cherish the photo of me in a red bikini top that my husband took at the country lake we visited 2 days before my third child was born. I felt like a whale, and wouldn’t take the sarong off, because I needed it as a skirt to hide my horrific varicose veins. That photo - the way I was looking at him, the love, and uncertainty, and hope, and embarrassment combined with pride, and young pure possibility - is more meaningful to me than the whole folders of the professional shoots where I was trying to pose thoughtfully and smile in a motherly way. It's not even a great picture; the lighting is terrible. But it's real.

2. Body Art / Henna

OK, I just said you don’t need to have lovely professional pictures taken with your belly beautifully henna’d. But Henna can be a really fun activity to do at a shower or gathering with your closest friends. If you don’t mind amateur scribbles on your body for the next two weeks, you can let all of your friends participate, not just the fine artists. 

On that note, BONUS IDEA 13:

Have a Blessingway or Nesting Party. These are my most cherished memories of feeling loved, supported, and lifted up before becoming a mother.

3. Count the Kicks

Through DONA International postpartum doula certification, I learned in a training about ‘Count the Kicks’. A classmate shared an impactful memory - in her Lamaze pregnancy class she learned that "the heart rate tells me the baby is OK for 20 minutes. Kick count tells me the baby ok for 24 hours. Oh this is important!” 

The free Count the Kicks app is amazing. It helps you record how long it takes your baby to get to 10 movements, tracks changes over time, and reminds you to count every day. It even has a contraction counter for the end of pregnancy. I wish stuff like this had been around back in ancient times when I was pregnant!

What I love about count the kicks, beyond the clear life saving benefits and improved birth outcomes, is the regularity. This is a time every day that you can take for what’s most important. You get yourself a drink of water. You sit down. You take time to check in with your body, and your baby. Have you put your feet up yet today? Paying attention and counting and feeling the kicks is truly a meditation of sorts. You could breathe and relax and just focus on enjoying being pregnant for this brief moment. Every day. 

Link to download Count the Kicks app (No Affiliation).

4. Journaling - Track

This the typical pregnancy journal. Keep a log of what you eat - cravings and aversions, your rising weight, waist measurements, and some blank space to write some highs and lows. Most pregnancy journals follow a similar format, and help you track the changes as you grow. While a tracking journal can be a lovely keepsake, the primary benefit is in enjoying the process.

5. Journaling - Prepare

If a tracking pregnancy journal is focused on you and the pregnancy, a preparation pregnancy journal is focused on your future self and your child. There are actual skills required in motherhood that you haven’t learned yet. And I don’t mean just the material essentials of how to swaddle, feed, and soothe a crying baby. Taking a newborn care prep class or hiring a postpartum doula is a brilliant idea. In addition, there are inner shifts that you will need to make to be able to cope with big change and grow into the mother you want to be.

A deeper pregnancy journal prompts you to reflect on your inner experience as you become a mother. During pregnancy, we are primed to prepare for the road ahead. The Motherflow Pregnancy Journal focuses on writing and practicing to prepare for:

• Nervous system regulation

• Self compassion

• Systemizing your responsibilities & self care

• Needs Awareness

• Communication with your partner

• Being Present with and Enjoying your baby

• Setting up your village

• Gratitude - noticing what’s good.

Learn more about The Motherflow Pregnancy Journal here. 

6. Birth Art

Are you an artist? It doesn’t matter. To make birth art, you don’t need any special artistic talents. The idea is to channel your uncertainties, and your full mix of hopes and fears into something visual. You can do this only if you don’t judge yourself during the process. That is easier said than done, especially in our culture where most of us were schooled to be self conscious about art we produced, and to copy something else to make it look a certain way. That’s why I’m not going to include any pictures of my birth art here! But this is one of the primary benefits of birth art; you go beyond your comfort zone, you open your mind, you let your feelings flow. Leaning into uncertainty of “not knowing” or “not being good enough” is preparation for the emotional challenges of labor and early motherhood. The images, shapes, and colors that emerge if you can let go of your rational mind during the process can be insightful. You might realize feelings in your body or anxieties you were suppressing. Some women choose to bring their birth art to the birth, as a visual grounding image that can help them remember their authentic intentions during labor. 

The book Birthing from Within by Pam England contains lots more benefits and instructions on how to do it. Birthing from Within also trains facilitators that host virtual birth art sessions and gatherings, which can help open the door to a meaningful experience if you feel stuck getting started on your own.

7. Birth Playlist

My first baby was born before there were smart phones. That makes me ancient, but I am grateful for the perspective of witnessing what a massive transformation of human behavior has occurred. In many cases, it is astounding and may have negative consequences (i.e. toddlers on phones for hours). In the case of music however, smart phones are a clear win to me! During my first pregnancy, I actually burned a CD to play in the car on the way to the birthing center (an hour away) and during labor. For my last baby, all I had to do was make a playlist. 

Music is a powerful way to regulate your nervous system. There are massive amounts of research on the effects of different kinds of noise and music on the nervous system, and much of it we know by lived experience and common sense.  Try asking chatGPT about the cool studies on music during labor and childbirth, showing its effectiveness at lowering anxiety, emotional distress, and perceived pain levels. 

Choose tracks that are slow, rhythmic, and harmonious as these activate the parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) system, lowering stress hormones and promoting relaxation. You might even want to make 2, one for early labor, when you’re gathering what you need, walking, gearing up. Maybe songs with meaningful lyrics might feel good during this phase. And another one for active labor, when you need to go within, get in the zone, and find strength. Something instrumental, with a steady beat, and no words might be just the thing, when you may need to go to a place inside that words don’t touch. 

You might be surprised at what actually feels soothing to you during the birth. Don’t be tied to your playlist. Let the joy of making it, imagining how things may unfold and feel, be enough. It is a valuable and memorable experience in and of itself. You can always use this playlist for stretching or yoga at home with your baby in the future. You may find that when the big day(s) comes, you need to listen to Enya on repeat for hours. Or you may find, as I did!, that the native flute melodies put on by my well-meaning birth doula were so nerve wracking that I snapped at her to turn it off. Don’t hold back from yelling “turn this shit off!” if, after all, it’s not helping. 

I want you to make your own, but feel free to use mine as inspiration:

8. Postpartum Playlist

Same idea, this time with the purpose of giving you a soundtrack to your life at home with a new baby. Lullabies that you can hum or sing along to are nice, both for the baby, and because music, singing, and humming are powerful ways to soothe your own nervous system. Tip - make this one as long as you can. What you don’t want is a short album that plays on repeat, as the early days and nights and daysandnightswithnobreaks can seem like one nonstop revolving groundhog day. Make this playlist long enough that you won’t get sick of it for a few weeks or months. Think- hundreds of songs. 

Here’s another tip for making the playlists. One thing I’ve learned about spotify from my husband, an avid music listener, is to search for playlists made by humans, not made by spotify, containing songs that you like. Playing these lists helps you find new songs that Spotify’s listener algorithm won’t show you otherwise. 

9. Make Something for Your Baby

Are you a crafter? Whether you identify as a maker or not, it’s worth making something. Women throughout the ages have spent their pregnant months preparing for the arrival of their baby. I’ve often imagined them tanning hides, stitching moccasins, weaving a blanket… When I take part in a simple fiber art, I feel connected to all the women who came before me and after me who will do the same. I feel a oneness, a primal drive. 

If you don’t know how to knit or crochet, and aren’t up for learning (are you sure? Youtube makes it possible and practical), there are many other things you can make. As you use these items with your babe in the near future, you will always remember bending over your awkward big belly, in the era of great unknown when your baby was still in the dark. 

It might just be that the the booties you knit end up living on as stuffed animal accessories as mine did, and it has brought me great joy to see them over the years.

One other reason to make something for your baby is that the baby-parenting years are filled with consumerism. I bet expecting and new parents are Amazon’s favorite demographic. Even if it is only a token object, that doesn’t make a dent in the actual amount of supplies you need, making something can still be meaningful. It’s like making tomato sauce from your homegrown tomatoes. No, these quarts do not come out cheaper than the cans you could buy in the store, if you factor in your time. But when you eat the spaghetti with your sauce from your tomatoes, it feels different and real. 

• Assemble something: crib, changing table, or newborn stuff cart (super handy in the early months. No affiliation).

• Decorate a onesie with fabric markers. This is fun to do in a group, and a favorite activity for Blessingways. Add-on idea - decorate a matching tshirt for yourself so you can have a mommy and me outfit! 

• Make a small keepsake comfort item for your baby. Sew, stitch, or hand-tie a simple love. This could be a s simple as cutting a piece of fleece into a blanket or comfort square. This will be something your baby can hold later. It doesn’t have to be Insta-perfect; it’s the time and care that matter. You can even infuse it with a few quiet intentions as you work. Later, when your baby snuggles it, they’ll be wrapped in your love and anticipation.

10. Connect with Your Baby

You are already connected with your baby, physically. But putting a little intention into connecting with them while they are still in the womb is a memory you can always treasure, and something you can tell your child about. Counting the kicks is a great way to connect with your baby, because you’re putting all of your attention on them, and really experiencing what it’s like to feel them inside of you. Three more ideas:

1. You might want to try playing games with your baby. When they give you a kick under the ribs, if you push back at their knee or elbow, do they do it again? Sometimes this works as a little call and response :) 

2. Write a letter to your baby. This can be something that you give them someday, or just for you. Write about your hopes and dreams, your fears and insecurities. Write about who their parents are and how they came about. Write to them as a little child, as a fully grown adult human, or as a spirit. It doesn’t matter what you write as long as you get your authentic word juices flowing and write from the heart. 

3. Reflect on an unanswerable question. I loved to contemplate this one, just for fun. This is meant to be a stumper, mind-stopping like the zen koans.  Write from how you feel, not what you think.

11. Oil Your Belly

My youngest child is 7 years old as I write this. I can still vividly recall rubbing my belly with a rich moisturizer each night. I loved using tallow balm, rubbing in smooth slow circles, feeling the tautness and heaviness of my belly. I loved that it was a time for me to slow down, and the ritual before bed was extremely calming. I loved sensing the changes. I loved stopping all other activity and just being present. I marvelled at the dark veins, and the popping belly button, and even the stretch marks. I loved actively appreciating my body for the amazing feat it was accomplishing. I loved feeling my babies knees or elbows punch and slide by my hands, and imagine their position or what it would be like to hold them. I loved every minute of awe at the whole situation.

12. Wear a Goddess Outfit

You will always remember looking at yourself in the mirror in  your full splendor. Whether you are the kind of woman who loves being pregnant or not, give yourself and all of us the gift of putting on a beautiful dress and going out into the world at least once. 

Two memories are seared into my mind. One was of seeing a vase of spent flowers at a friends’ house. Their heads were bent, petals browning and dropping. My first child was about a year old at the time, and I looked at them on my way to the bathroom, and thought - “that’s me.” When you are hugely pregnant, you are a flower in full bloom. You are full of new life, fleetingly.

The second memory I’ll never forget is going out to eat with my husband for our anniversary in early June. It was a few days before my due date, and I had on a dress that I loved. I felt that all was right in the world.  I felt that I was born to do this. 

Go on, let the world see the miracle of nature creating new life through your goddess body!