Newly Pregnant? These 3 Lists Will Save Your Sanity

When I got pregnant with my son, I was already six months into a strict anti-yeast diet—no dairy, no gluten, no sugar, not even fruit. Are you getting the picture? It was extremely limited. I'd started the diet to manage relentless, recurring yeast infections, and it was working. Grateful to be free of them, and fearing their return, I was committed to sticking with the protocol while pregnant.

Within a couple of weeks, I found eating absurdly challenging. I can remember as clear as day, standing next to the kitchen island at work (I worked with adults with disabilities at the time). The craving for a peanut butter sandwich hit me so hard, I literally doubled over. That was the day I knew I had to throw the yeast dieti out the window and figure out what I could even eat at all that I could stomach. 

You all won’t be as stupid and young and restrictive as I attempted to be. But it may still be hard to find something other than chocolate chip cookies that appeals to you.

Fast Forward a few years, and I sat here newly pregnant at this very desk making a list:

Things Anna Can Eat. I posted my list on the fridge, hoping that my husband would help me if he noticed me bedraggled and whimpering. 

Lemon curd (I swear, this was top of list)

Yogurt

Apples and cheese

Oatmeal

If you know you know. 

List One:

Things I Can Eat

It doesn’t matter how short the list is, or how perfectly nutritionally sound it is. The point is that in early pregnancy it can be REALLY hard to eat. Even with no crazy diet, what to eat can become an overwhelming chore.The Catch 22 is that if you don’t eat, the symptoms of malaise, nausea, no energy, get worse and worse. You have to force yourself to eat sometimes. You have to compromise on nutritional density sometimes. Protein is often the last thing on earth that sounds good, but it is the thing that your body needs and will make it feel better. They say that a woman’s sense of smell and aversion is heightened during early pregnancy as a protective measure. A pregnant woman's immune system is lowered by biological necessity so that the body doesn’t reject the fetus. Because of this, she has to be able to detect foods that are more likely to spoil and cause harm: meat and vegetables. 

A recent postpartum client adores her husband’s cooking, and he is a wizard at gardening and various east asian food specialties, not to mention ethnically diverse cooking in general. When she came into the kitchen gagging and wailing “what was that awful smell!”, he was like - “Babe. It’s just garlic and onions”. She vetoed  garlic and onions till future notice. 

So we do the best we can, rely on clean whey protein powders, and nibble cheese and crackers. 

A second list to consider making is the —

To NOT Do List

• Do not watch the news

• Do not shovel snow off my neighbors’ driveways

• Do not accept phone calls from my mother in law

• Do not say yes to projects at work without a 24 hour consideration period

You get the idea. There are things we find we are doing out of the goodness of our hearts, or mere laziness or bad habit, and surely out of our subconscious desire to please that we no longer have the energy for now. 

First trimester is a winter. It is a time of rapid cell division, heart and brain construction, but it all happens below the surface, in the warm safe den like a hibernation. It is a fertile yet invisible period where the biological mandate is REST. There is great change and transition on the horizon, and your heart and mind have to adjust. Space is needed.

Making a “not do” list is a way to make time for what really matters, physically, mentally, and spiritually — naps. 

[Hint - if you’re “not a napper” (god do these people really exist?), prioritize rest and space by walking or sitting in nature. Nature, napping, meet similar needs].

A third list that is just as practical is the —

To Investigate List

• Medical ob providers in my network

  • Call and make appointments

• Home Birth Statistics

  • Are we actually considering this?

• Daycares near me

  • Which are the best? 

  • How long is the waiting list?

• Prenatal yoga

• Ask my friends with kids what their most helpful books were

• Ask my friends with kids what their best advice for baby registry gifts are

This list is a brain dump of sorts of all you must DO and FIGURE OUT.

Phrasing it in this way “to investigate” keeps it curious, keeps it light.

Yes, there is a lot to figure out.

Yes, you can handle it all, in good time. Stress comes from pressure to get it all done. Stress also comes from avoidance. This list spares you from both. You have a list, and you’re going to take action one tiny step at a time. 

Tips on investigation: 

• Ask moms and dads you trust who have recently been there. They will absolutely  LOVE to share their hard-earned wisdom and experience with you. Consider this before going to the internet for answers. In my local circle of friends, there was even a spreadsheet going around - for what to put on the registry, what to buy new (i.e. car seat), what to source used (i.e. baby clothes). 

• Nip overanalysis in the bud. Over-researching does not benefit your baby. Investigation must contain decision making and discernment, not endless spinning and obsessing. Pick a doctor. You can always change. 

• Opt out, to the extent you are able, of the doomsday birth horror stories. “Oh listen to what happened to my friend Sarah. When they swiped her membranes, they introduced an infection and she had to sue the hospital because she lost half her uterus”. (For example. Sorry). You don’t need to hear it.  Yet, you don’t need to fully shelter yourself from reality either. There is a balance, and hopefully you will have caring friends who know when to share (when it is true, kind, and helpful), and when to keep their mouths shut.

• Learn how to stop unwanted advice (and birth horror stories!)

Thank you for reading and for taking care of your gorgeous self and the next generation! With care and respect,

Anna

---

There are simple yet powerful ways you can feel supported on the journey to motherhood.

Learn More Here